December 2009
2 posts
“@snakecharma: it is just not normal for a room full of shoes and jeans to smell...”
– on her crazy ex-boss’s chicken addiction stinkin up the break room at work
“@str8topr: everything is good when youre getting fucked. okay. theres no excuse...”
– on a VERY unfortunate shoe choice for the evening…VERY unfortunate.
November 2009
12 posts
“@str8topr: she was bein real weird and i dont even know her. whats up with her...”
– on @JerBear1984’s ex girlfriend
“@rrikkitikkitavi: if i were german, i would play it in my car. but im not. so i...”
– on some band, but i dont remember which one…
@shandennsays & @snakecharma at the indian buffet
c: i want the pudding
s: i know. ive been watching the line for you. theres all them people with the sweaters and the faces.
c: wait! who is this man with the nixon nose eatin my puddin!?
“@britanypracchia: homeless like indian food too.”
– on the homeless people i saw eating out of trash cans in lexington
“@coolhandben: if you need a tie, dont search in your parent’s room. its...”
– we dont know what he found. he doesnt wanna talk about it.
@shandennsays & @jaredjetpack
s: i'd have so much sex with paul newman, SO MUCH SEX.
j: he's dead...
s: that's a zombie i'd fuck. SO MUCH SEX.
@rrikkitikkitavi & @britanypracchia
a: its the only thing hes lied to me about. i think...
b: well im markin it!
“@snakecharma: i wanna make moss terrariums with cemeteries and presidents.”
– um, obvi.
“@britanypracchia: shes kinda overweight. she aint getting into heaven until she...”
– on people who love the bible. but just parts of it.
@britanypracchia & @rrikkitikkitavi
b: i thought you said panties "heres your panties!"
a: no. i had my panties on.
on a breakup and paintings being destroyed.
“@snakecharma im gonna address this doodoo”
– on cats being cats. in our hallway.
“@britanypracchia: i think my mom is an ancient demon and she feeds on my tears.”
– on her mom being crazy mean to her
October 2009
41 posts
“@britanypracchia shitting your pants is way worse than shitting in the toilet,...”
– while watching i didnt know i was pregnant.
“@snakecharma: i cant dance without shiny boobs!”
– while looking for a belly dance top
boy meets world
@snakecharma and @thejoshdanger
c: doesnt she look like topanga!?
j: whos topanga?
c: from boy meets world...
j: oh. i never watched boy meets world.
c: (totally dedpan) oh. you should.
waffle house people
@ snakecharma and @shandennsay when in different rooms
charlsie via text: waffle house?
shanden via text: ...i has no pants.
charlsie via text: you know our stance on pants!
shanden outloud to next room: well, maybe the people t waffle house feel differently about pants than us.
charlsie yelling as she enters the room: shanden! theyre waffle house people! the only way theyre ever going to see someone like YOU with no pants is if you walk in WITH NO PANTS!
good friend
@shandennsays and @snakecharma driving around
charlsie: its probably gonna clot and kill me
shanden: as long as it doesnt happen while youre driving me around.
charlsie: ill try my best
shanden: youre such a good friend.
“@snakecharma: i just need you to know i just put on jewelry before my...”
– on how a REAL lady(with nutty brain) gets dressed
“@snakecharma: your beady little eyes strike no emotion in me!”
– on an annoying twit trying to fake emotion
“@snakecharma: hes my favorite christian”
– on her favorite christian obviously
“@shandennsays to @rrikkitikkitavi: the hot dog made her pregnant. ashley, we...”
– watching I DIDNT KNOW I WAS PREGNANT after eating hot dogs earlier in the day.
“@snakecharma: dont you get like superpower point or something?”
– on becoming a scientologist
“@snakecharma: they never squeeze my nipple! i feel cheated!”
– on breast exams
“@snakecharma oh. its your boyfriend. hes not surprised by anything i do.”
– charlsie after answering the door in a corset and bustled skirt to find blaise
“@britanypracchia: i bought it at a bonfire from a girl. she was real drunk.”
– britany about a puffy vest she owns
“its not blood, its just spit”
– unknown person on someone biting their tounge
“said to @jaredjetpack while he was wearing my very girly bright blue knit hat:...”
– becca
“@amandastroy i used to have this friend. she was a slut. in middle school.”
– amanda on middle school sluts.
“i think the asian dyes in your cloves are going to your brain…”
– charlie to me about cracking out like i do
“@ditoottey im looking to make some regrets. but nothing too major.”
– dito
“@amandastroy my man voice makes me bite my lip ring! thats not right!”
– amanda as we were singing in man voices
“@rrikkitikkitavi to @amandastroy youre a soul cather. thats all you do. collect...”
– ashley to amanda
“so many bad things start with “i had a cookie in my purse.”
– charlie
“@britanypracchia she threw a cashew in my almond tray! i was like oh no!”
– britany
“@shandennsays im putting on my unicorn raglan, im getting a kitten, and today IS...”
– me
“You know, Josh, of all my friends you would be the one I’d be least...”
– “You know, Josh, of all my friends you would be the one I’d be least surprised to see show up one day with a hook-hand.” -Zack Attack
“@snakecharma: shes really not that cool actually. i mean, her favorite band is...”
– charlsie
“@kramkave i was always cordial to her because, well, you dont argue with a crazy...”
– destruction
“hair should be silent.”
– zack attack
zombies vs vampires
blaise to me: if you were a zombie id let you eat me. we could be zombies together.
charlsie after overhearing: be vampires. much prettier.
“@jredjetpackelbow sex: very dangerous.”
– jetpack
“if youre not strong enough to kill me, eat me, and take my theater, youre not...”
– scot copeland director of nashville childrens theater. my ex’s dad. and a badass pirate mofo.
“you cant go through life looking in your rear view mirror, you know. youll run...”
– sarah cooper. my junior year ap english teacher
“@rrikkitikkitavihe came in the left side of my vagina. not the right side. where...”
– ashley
“wwccd? what would charlie chaplin do!”
– the amazing gwyn
“@amandastroy“i started grinding my teeth in my sleep dating him. he ruined...”
– amanda
“@thejoshdanger“nothing haappens in rome! except occasionally a bunch of...”
– josh danger
“thats the only exception for something to exit my vagina. if it is created by...”
– britney jade smith